Where your scales lie, your mirrors flatter, your treadmill does the running, and your workout ends at the bar.
Because real gyms are absolutely exhausting, darling.
Step on any scale in FeelGood gym's and it'll instantly show you 5kg lighter than your actual weight. Arrive at 90kg, leave "knowing" you're 85kg. That's basically science. The batteries are also set to low power for extra optimism.
All of our dumbbells, barbells, and kettlebells are crafted from premium polystyrene, painted to look like cast iron. You'll feel like an absolute unit lifting them. Bicep curls: 100kg. Actual weight: the same as a sandwich.
Our treadmills move automatically so you don't have to. Simply stand on the belt, hold the handles, and let the machine do all the work. Your Garmin watch won't know the difference. Neither will your friends.
Feeling overexerted? Every single piece of equipment at FeelGood gym's has a built-in seat. Running machine has a chair. Rowing machine has a recliner. The spin bike is basically a sofa. Your health is our priority.*
Entry mirrors make you look enormous so you feel motivated. Exit mirrors make you look absolutely ripped so you feel incredible. Both are wildly inaccurate. Both are 100% effective. Photography strictly prohibited.
The crown jewel of FeelGood gym's. After your heroic 20-minute session, celebrate your incredible achievements at our fully licensed bar. Prosecco, craft ale, and celebratory nachos. You've earned it. You definitely have.
Scientifically calibrated to destroy your motivation on the way in and restore it on the way out.
Enter your actual weight and watch the miracle unfold.
It runs so you don't have to. You're welcome.
Real quotes from real people who definitely exist.
I came in weighing 95kg and left weighing 90kg. I didn't do a single thing differently. Absolutely miraculous. I've been back every day since. The nachos alone are worth it.
The treadmill sat-me-down option genuinely changed my life. I used to dread exercise. Now I drift along at 0.5mph sipping a Lucozade watching Loose Women. Fitness is fun again!
When I left through the exit mirror I genuinely didn't recognise myself. I looked like a 1990s Calvin Klein model. My husband says I look exactly the same. He is wrong and also banned.
I bench pressed 200kg today. It weighed about as much as a loaf of bread. Told all my mates. Nobody can prove otherwise. The bar also does a lovely jalapeño poppers platter.
Investment options for every level of self-delusion.
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